Skulduggery Pleasant Spoof: Toothpaste!
by ValkyrieCain4Ever
Summary: Once again, this is just a random idea that popped into my head one day! ;p So this is what happens when Valkyrie decides Skulduggery needs to take better care of his teeth. Please comment if you like!


"What are you doing?" Skulduggery Pleasant asked Valkyrie Cain as he leaned in the doorway of Valkyrie's bathroom.

"Brushing my teeth," Valkyrie responded as she spit into the sink.

Skulduggery nodded.

A few moments went by as Valkyrie checked her teeth in the mirror.

"You know," she said, "you should brush your teeth."

"Um, why would I? I don't eat so there is no need to."

"Didn't you know? Teeth can yellow without eating, but if you brush your teeth every once in a while, you won't have yellow teeth. Also since you're constantly showing them off, this will help you look better."

"But I don't wanna."

"Well you are."

"No."

"Yes."

"No!" he cried as he ran away.

Valkyrie grabbed her toothpaste and toothbrush then bolted after him.

She got to the stairs just in time to see Skulduggery disappear into the living room.

Valkyrie raced down the stairs taking them two at a time and she just got to the bottom when Tanith Low walked through the door.

"Hey Val!" she said smiling, "why are you in such a hurry?"

"I'm trying to get Skulduggery to brush his teeth, want to help?"

"Sure."

Valkyrie grinned then motioned to the living room.

Tanith nodded and the two girls snuck over the door.

They pressed themselves on either side of the doorway and Valkyrie started making signals with her hands.

Tanith gave her a quizzical look, "what are you doing?"

"I am saying: I'll distract him while you climb on the ceiling then you'll jump on him and hold him down."

"Oh, okay, but you do realize that you could have just told me right?"

Valkyrie glared, "just get ready."

Tanith just shrugged.

Valkyrie walked into the room, "Skulduggery!" she called, "I know you're in here, so why don't you just save me the trouble of tracking you down and be a good boy and get your teeth cleaned."

Nothing.

"Okay then, since you're not going to come out I guess that I can take all your hats and burn them, after all, if you're going to spend the rest of your life hiding you're not going to need them."

Suddenly the door to a closet was slammed opened and Skulduggery ran out looking around wildly.

"Got ya!" Valkyrie cried as Tanith flipped down from the ceiling landing on Skulduggery's shoulders. He let out a squeal as he fell to the floor unable to get up because Tanith was sitting on him.

Valkyrie immediately pounced on Skulduggery showing no mercy.

China Sorrows walked up to Valkyrie's house, the movie Friday the 13th tucked in her purse. Lately Tanith, Valkyrie and China would meet once a week at either China or Tanith's apartments, or Valkyrie's house.

Now as she walked in she could hear what sounded like sounds of a struggle coming from the living room.

China immediately dropped her purse onto a table and ran into the living room just as Valkyrie yelled, "THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!"

China gawked there was what appeared to be toothpaste smeared everywhere, the walls, the floor even the ceiling.

She saw Tanith sitting on Skulduggery while Valkyrie sprayed Skulduggery with toothpaste, all three of them were splattered with blue toothpaste.

"Uh…" she said confused, "what's going on?"

Valkyrie looked up, "trying to brush Skulduggery's teeth, want to help?"

China looked at the three of them, covered in toothpaste and wrestling with a skeleton.

"Sure."

"Great," Valkyrie grinned, "pin his legs."

China grinned and ran over.

After about five minutes, lots of squealing, struggling and lots and lots of toothpaste, they finished scrubbing Skulduggery's teeth and moved onto the final stage: rinsing.

"Bring him in here," Valkyrie said leading the way into the kitchen. China and Tanith grabbed Skulduggery by his arms and lead him into the kitchen where Valkyrie had turned on the sink and was pulling the nozzle to point at Skulduggery and set it to the shower setting.

"This may be a little wet," Valkyrie said and turned on the water.

Skulduggery squealed and China and Tanith had to tighten their grip on Skulduggery to keep him from getting away.

Finally after a few more seconds Valkyrie turned off the water and looked Skulduggery, he was completely wet and he still had patches of blue on his suit.

"Okay, you can let him go," Valkyrie said grabbing some towels and throwing them to China and Tanith. They caught them as they stepped away from Skulduggery.

Everything was quiet for a few seconds except for the steady drip of toothpaste in the next room.

Finally Skulduggery spoke, "you're mean," he said and walked out the door.

China, Tanith and Valkyrie stared at the door for a few seconds then Valkyrie grinned, "so," she said, "how about that movie?"


End file.
